I don't mean that in some metaphorical sense. I mean I need an activity that doesn't involve cutting myself, burning myself, drinking, or taking large doses of medications.
This blog is the vainest of any kind of blog. It's the blog of someone who knows they have a problem (several problems, actually) and knows the solutions that society is offering her - and rejects them.
I'm starting this blog at 6:13am because I'm still itchy from my overdose of oxycodon. So I haven't been able to sleep all night.
I have a lot of little DSM numbers after my name.
I can't tell you when any of these started to manifest. I know I've always been odd or bizarre. I can tell you the first time that I acted. When I was 15, I drank my first half bottle of Nyquil. I spent the next day at school a zombie. I couldn't feel a think and it was amazing. It wasn't scary. It didn't feel bad. It was amazing. I wasn't crying, I was too numb to cry. Eventually the other behaviors were added. But that was the beginning.
Maybe with this blog we'll see an end. Maybe not.
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